Tech Tip: Virtual Lab Insanity

Student: Ugh. Of course there aren’t any more open computers. Maybe I should just buy Adobe- my final class project is due next week; I’ll just learn how to use everything and get my money’s worth out of it... Who am I kidding? I’ll just use it once and forget it even exists. Maybe if I just wait one of these computers will open up…”

Computer: “You aren’t fooling me! And as luck would have it, Virtual Labs exist for this EXACT scenario!”

Student: “What?? Who said that?!”

Computer: “Whether you live off campus, the lab is full, or you just don’t feel like leaving your room, virtual computer labs are there for…”

Student: “I’m going crazy. That’s what this is. Uncle Jeff was right- aliens really must have abducted mom.”

Computer: “All you need to connect to the virtual lab is a computer with access to a broadband internet connection and UWM’s GlobalProtect VPN! After you have turned the GlobalProtect VPN on, navigate to the Virtual Labs portal and log in using your UWM credentials. Once you’re logged on, see how many computers are open, choose your desired pool, and dive on in!”

Student: *frantically touches their eyes* “WHY IS THE ONLY THING I CAN SEE A WEB BROWSER?!!?!?!”

Computer: “After you’ve chosen the pool of computers you would like to join, select Make Your Reservation, then Connect To Remote Lab, and follow the prompts on screen to access the computer and complete your work.”

Student: This is just a dream. A terrible, terrible, dream. I’m just going to keep my eyes shut and not respond to whatever that thing says. I’m going to wake up at a computer in the lab, and realize it was all just an awful dream.

Computer: “Hah Hah Hah! This is no bad dream, buddy! It’s actually a wonderful dream and when you find out there’s step-by-step instructions on how to gain access to remote labs in UWM’s KnowledgeBase, you’ll be even happier than you are now!”

Student: “…I don’t know why I thought that would work.”

Computer: “Me neither!”

Student: “Okay. Thank you for your… help?”

Computer?: “You’re welcome! Please let us know if there’s anything we can do to help in the future!”

Student: “…W-We?”

Computer?: “Uhhhh…”

Aliens: “They’re onto us!!”