Because mentoring relationships come in all shapes and sizes, the following suggestions should be taken as only as guidelines. The role of etiquette in our society is to make other people feel at ease and valued. You may want to review these suggested rules with your mentee to decide which are most important in your mentee-mentor relationship.
Suggested “Etiquette for Mentors”
- You are not expected to evaluate your mentee’s work. While your professional areas may overlap enough that you feel competent to evaluate their work, this is NOT expected of you. Rather, your role is one of helping your mentee to find resources.
- Take the initiative in the relationship. Invite your mentee to meet you, suggest topics to discuss, ask if you can offer any guidance.
- Respect your mentee’s time as much as you respect your own.
- Be explicit with your mentee that you are only offering suggestions and that they should weigh your advice along with that received from other mentors.
- Your mentee must trust that anything they say to you will be held in the strictest confidence.
- If you don’t believe that either you or your mentee are able to keep to the terms of your mentoring relationship, don’t be afraid to end it. It may be helpful for you to annually review your mentoring relationship. If you do end the relationship, try to keep the door open for renewing it in the future.
Here are a few ideas for items to discuss with your mentee:
- Provide honest criticism and informal guidance.
- Review teaching, research, and service if they request it.
- Discuss specific “difficult” situations faced by your mentee and suggest follow-up actions they might take to turn an unfortunate circumstance into an opportunity.
- Help your mentee to understand the current culture of UWM, review expectations as they pertain to becoming involved in activities at UWM, earning tenure or indefinite status, and personnel issues.
- Be open to discussing possible career trajectories.
- Review important dates that the mentee should be aware of as it relates to promotion and indefinite status.
- Utilize mentoring to help the new hire become part of the UWM family.
- Review important dates that the mentee should be aware of and discuss how they can be prepared for them. Such dates might include submission of materials for annual peer reviews, preparation of materials to the department for annual written progress evaluations, or working with the Office of Research on proposal development.
- Utilize mentoring to break down feelings of isolation by including the mentee in campus activities you are aware of so that the mentee gets to know more people on campus and in our community.
- If you are comfortable, be open to discussing balancing work and personal life.
*Adapted from Guidelines for Mentors, UW – Madison Women Faculty Mentoring Program