the following guidelines are culled from a variety of sources)
- Ask for advice and welcome constructive suggestions, but don’t assume that advice will be offered if it is not solicited. Be as specific as possible when asking for advice. A good mentor will offer both criticism and suggestions for your work. Be open to both.
- Be considerate of your mentor’s time. Return phone calls promptly and be on time. On any specific occasion ask how much time your mentor has to spend with you and abide by that request.
- Listen to what your mentor has to say. Although sometimes advice may seem irrelevant to you, often the information will become useful at some future time.
- Seriously consider the advice offered by your mentor, even if your immediate reaction is not positive. Beginning a response to advice or criticism with the words, “Yes, but. . .” is a bad start.
- At your next meeting with your mentor, share how you used your last conversation as a means of solving a problem, even if the mentor’s suggestion was not the one that was ultimately the most helpful.
- Show appreciation for the time and assistance given to you by your mentor.
- Make only positive or neutral comments about your mentor to others. If you believe you have a fundamental difference with your mentor, let them know.
- Keep the doors open with your mentor. You never know when you may want their advice t at some point in the future. Once you are tenured, stay in touch to provide “progress” reports.
Thus, mentors have the right to expect that you will:
- meet as often as originally agreed upon,
- ask for advice,
- listen thoughtfully, and your advise mentor about results,
- keep confidences, and
- re-evaluate the mentoring relationship regularly.
You should not expect your mentor to:
- spend unlimited amounts of time with you,
- deal extensively with personal problems. The mentor’s goal is to help you find the resources you need.
Probably the greatest challenge faced by pairs is finding enough time and energy to meet together. Even finding half an hour can be difficult. Use phone calls, e-mail, etc., as ways of staying in touch when your schedules are the busiest.