Respond

The following are tips on how to respond to signs of distress.

1. Show you care

  • Remove distractions
  • Be patient and listen for understanding
  • Maintain eye contact
  • Ask what they need
  • Summarize what they say
  • Offer help where you can
  • Let them know you are there for them
  • Listen carefully and acknowledge student’s pain
  • Stay safe: If there is an imminent danger to you, the student or someone else, call 911.
  • Ask direct questions: Don’t be afraid to directly ask the student if they are having thoughts of harming or killing themselves or others. By asking you are not instilling the thought.

Conversation Tips

  • “I’ve been worried about you. Is everything ok?”
  • “How can I help?  It seems like you’ve had some challenges these past few weeks.”

2. Say what you see

  • Be direct.  Express your concerns directly and honestly
  • Briefly acknowledge your observations and perceptions of their situation
  • Stick to the facts
  • Don’t make assumptions
  • Describe the changes you have noticed
  • Ask if they are ok
  • Listen! 

Conversation Tips

  • “I noticed you missed the last few classes and wanted to check in.  Is everything ok?”
  • “You looked very tired the last few classes and have missed the last two assignments.  Is there anything you want to talk about?”

3. Hear them out

  • Stay calm:  Take a few deep breaths to calm yourself
  • Listen!  Listen carefully and acknowledge the student’s pain
  • Give your full attention:  Be present and patient, taking the time needed to make sure you understand what is causing the distress and what they are asking for
  • Be curious. Ask questions
  • Affirm their feelings
  • Let them know they are not alone

Conversation Tips

  • “That sounds really challenging. I would like to hear more about how you’ve been feeling.”
  • Focus on active listening Try not to jump to problem-solving right away. 
  • “It sounds like you are really overwhelmed.  Is there anything I can do to help?”

4. Connect to help

  • Determine the need and appropriate resources available
  • Disclose that you cannot guarantee complete confidentiality; you will need to appropriately share information student tells you
  • Reaffirm your support and care
  • Connect them to resources
  • Follow up
Refer

Conversation Tips

  • “It sounds like you’ve really been struggling and I’m worried about you.  Have you thought about reaching out to the UW Mental Health Support line available 24/7 where you can call, text, or chat to connect with a crisis responder.” 
  • “Thank you for sharing your experience.  I’m not an expert in this area, but I think Counseling Services could help.  Would it be okay if we give them a call and ask about scheduling an appointment?”