The following are tips on how to respond to signs of distress.
1. Show you care
- Remove distractions
- Be patient and listen for understanding
- Maintain eye contact
- Ask what they need
- Summarize what they say
- Offer help where you can
- Let them know you are there for them
- Listen carefully and acknowledge student’s pain
- Stay safe: If there is an imminent danger to you, the student or someone else, call 911.
- Ask direct questions: Don’t be afraid to directly ask the student if they are having thoughts of harming or killing themselves or others. By asking you are not instilling the thought.
Conversation Tips
- “I’ve been worried about you. Is everything ok?”
- “How can I help? It seems like you’ve had some challenges these past few weeks.”
2. Say what you see
- Be direct. Express your concerns directly and honestly
- Briefly acknowledge your observations and perceptions of their situation
- Stick to the facts
- Don’t make assumptions
- Describe the changes you have noticed
- Ask if they are ok
- Listen!
Conversation Tips
- “I noticed you missed the last few classes and wanted to check in. Is everything ok?”
- “You looked very tired the last few classes and have missed the last two assignments. Is there anything you want to talk about?”
3. Hear them out
- Stay calm: Take a few deep breaths to calm yourself
- Listen! Listen carefully and acknowledge the student’s pain
- Give your full attention: Be present and patient, taking the time needed to make sure you understand what is causing the distress and what they are asking for
- Be curious. Ask questions
- Affirm their feelings
- Let them know they are not alone
Conversation Tips
- “That sounds really challenging. I would like to hear more about how you’ve been feeling.”
- Focus on active listening Try not to jump to problem-solving right away.
- “It sounds like you are really overwhelmed. Is there anything I can do to help?”
4. Connect to help
- Determine the need and appropriate resources available
- Disclose that you cannot guarantee complete confidentiality; you will need to appropriately share information student tells you
- Reaffirm your support and care
- Connect them to resources
- Follow up
Conversation Tips
- “It sounds like you’ve really been struggling and I’m worried about you. Have you thought about reaching out to the UW Mental Health Support line available 24/7 where you can call, text, or chat to connect with a crisis responder.”
- “Thank you for sharing your experience. I’m not an expert in this area, but I think Counseling Services could help. Would it be okay if we give them a call and ask about scheduling an appointment?”