UWM BREAKING NEWS: ANOTHER WEEK OF SPRING BREAK!!  

That very Saturday, I went out to the Milwaukee bars for the last time. My close friend was finally turning 21, and we all gathered to celebrate with him. We did our usual trip: pregame, Red Rock, and then we finished with Trinity. I always enjoyed seeing happy faces dancing and laughing with each other. Afterall, I had just turned 21 myself and was finally able to explore a different stage of life.  

I wouldn’t consider myself someone who thoroughly enjoyed the party scene though. In a room of people chatting or dancing, I am usually the one listening or observing. I mean I AM an INFJ. If you don’t know anything about those four letters, I’ll give you a short short short summary (I can talk about personality types for hours!). According to the Meyers Briggs website,  

an Advocate (INFJ) is someone with the Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, and Judging personality traits. They tend to approach life with deep thoughtfulness and imagination. Their inner vision, personal values, and a quiet, principled version of humanism guide them in all things. 

I enjoy alone time and getting to sit with my thoughts. I also enjoy listening and learning from others. The idea of more free time and being by myself certainly didn’t bother me. Another week to spend inside of my apartment? Hell yeah.  

UWM BREAKING NEWS: CLASSES WILL BE MOVED ONLINE FOR THE REMAINDER OF THE SEMESTER 

Hm, well I guess that means more me time? Like I said, I liked being alone and being able to live in my own little world. I worked and did my classes online, so I still had a structured schedule; except now, I did it all from my kitchen table. Quite honestly, that did not last very long. I soon found myself in my bed, surrounded by my blankets, covered in snack crumbs, and doing my work with a curled back and squinting eyes.  

The days started to mesh into one another. Was it Monday? No, today is definitely Wednesday. Shoot, it’s Thursday and my quiz was definitely due last night. I was normally really organized…  

Disorganization and brain fog became my every day. I didn’t see friends. I didn’t see family. My roommates moved back home. To avoid cabin fever, I started going on walks and when the weather permitted, I began roller-skating around the upper Eastside.  

Breathing fresh air and feeling the sun on my face cleared some of the brain fog. Enough to get me through the initial part of quarantine. You know, the part where we were expected to do school and act like nothing was happening. To function as healthy adults in a world that was unhealthy, sick, and dying around us in more than 1,000 ways.  

MILWAUKEE BREAKING NEWS: BLACK LIVES MATTER PROTESTS IN MKE 

I grabbed my mask, hand sanitizer, and all the other supplies I needed in case things went South while I protested. As an asthmatic, I was really nervous about COVID, but honestly, I was more nervous about the possibility of being pepper sprayed or being in contact with tear gas. I had no intention of being around if the protest became violent and luckily, I was not. However, I was still prepared for every possible situation.  

As a woman of color, this was something that I have been accustomed to doing. Being around people who are as loving, understanding and willing to listen as you is NEVER a guarantee. We must always be prepared to defend our identity and protect ourselves. I knew was it was like to maneuver around this world as a woman of color, but not as a Black woman in America.  

I listened, I read, and I spoke with those who had the energy and were willing to share their thoughts with me. In this world, there are so many injustices and I was determined to be an ally and an advocate where I was able. A lot of people talk about the Black Lives Matter protest as if they were a past phenomenon; I will not be doing that as social issues affecting Black Folx in America are still not solved.  

TEXT FROM MOM: ABUELA HAS COVID  

I saw how COVID affected everyone around me. I saw the care people showed about protecting each other and vulnerable communities, but I also saw the selfishness people showed by admitting their indifference to the virus and its effects. 

Eventually, it became an illness that was affecting my family personally. I felt crushed by the virus. I have always been terrified about the gamble that is being infected with the virus. Was she going to die? Was she just going to get a headache? She’s older and has a lot of other health issues.  

I was upset at myself because this became the first time, I truly became scared of the virus. The gamble had made it to my family. I should have been caring this much before then though. I forgave myself for this.  

CALENDAR REMINDER: CLASSES STARTNG AGAIN 

I had experienced burn out before in my life, but I was caught off balance with the burn out I began experiencing once classes started again. For a second time, we were asked to go about our lives as if the world was not ending every day. (I know it wasn’t, but it sure felt like it at times). In addition, we were expected to continue as if we didn’t just march all summer because of the unfair and unequal treatment of Black folx in America. AND TO TOP IT OFF, we were amid a transition in executive leadership.  

One semester later, I am experiencing more burn out (if that is even possible). I have learned to take it day by day. And to be as kind to myself as I am with others.  

Thinking back on it all, I have changed so much. I am quieter after spending so much time thinking. I am gentler in all my interactions. I am more thoughtful and more in touch with my emotions.  

I have resented the negative changes that have occurred in my life because of COVID-19, but I am thankful for the positive changes that have uplifted me during this season of life.