{"id":3339,"date":"2019-12-02T12:14:13","date_gmt":"2019-12-02T18:14:13","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/uwm.edu\/creamcityreview\/?p=3339"},"modified":"2020-04-15T15:38:54","modified_gmt":"2020-04-15T20:38:54","slug":"3339-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/uwm.edu\/creamcityreview\/3339-2\/","title":{"rendered":"&#8220;Thoughts from a Writing Challenge&#8221; by Lisa Low"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>[et_pb_section fb_built=&#8221;1&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;3.0.47&#8243;][et_pb_row _builder_version=&#8221;3.0.48&#8243; background_size=&#8221;initial&#8221; background_position=&#8221;top_left&#8221; background_repeat=&#8221;repeat&#8221;][et_pb_column type=&#8221;4_4&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;3.0.47&#8243; parallax=&#8221;off&#8221; parallax_method=&#8221;on&#8221;][et_pb_text _builder_version=&#8221;3.17.2&#8243; header_font=&#8221;|700|||||||&#8221;]<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center\"><span style=\"font-size: xx-large\"><strong><span class=\"TextRun SCXW33544103 BCX0\" lang=\"EN-US\" xml:lang=\"EN-US\" data-contrast=\"auto\"><span class=\"NormalTextRun SCXW33544103 BCX0\">Thoughts from a Writing Challenge<\/span><\/span><span class=\"EOP SCXW33544103 BCX0\" data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center\"><span data-contrast=\"auto\">\u00a0<\/span><em>by Lisa Low<\/em><\/p>\n<p>This January, I decided to write a poem a day for a month (\u00e0 la NaPoWriMo) with a couple of friends. I thought of this as exercise\u2014something I didn\u2019t want to do but knew would be good for me. And like exercise, I wanted instant gratification and endorphins. Instead, I experienced daily writing as another way to approach myself, both the good and bad. Some thoughts from the month:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Most days are unspectacular, but on the worst days, nothing is in my fingers. Or in my brain. I don\u2019t like anything I\u2019ve written, so I repeatedly type and backspace the way I tell my students not to do during in-class writing activities. I click through old poems nostalgically as if to harness the magic of a moment when something sprang forth out of nothing. I feel like I\u2019ll never write something good again. It\u2019s as if negative self-talk itself will produce the poem. On other days, a poem appears in my mind like a gift. Some lines come to me when I don\u2019t expect it (which, in the moment, I see as magical rather than the result of practice). I sit down in Nordstrom Rack and type on my phone instead of finding new sneakers like I\u2019d been planning to. By the time I get out, it\u2019s dark and I\u2019m late for dinner. In these moments, I feel most like a writer. But isn\u2019t being a writer both of these extremes, and the more boring in-between?<\/li>\n<li>A lot of content is needed, so whatever is around me goes in a poem. I look outside my apartment window and see trees, and yes, birds. I understand more deeply why trees and birds are such favorite topics. My husband, a teacher, comes home to tell me a student asked what was wrong with his eyes. <em>Wolf\u2019s eyes<\/em>, the second grader had said. This also goes in a poem, but I think the story of the student is better. For a few years, I\u2019d written about what blue eyes meant to me, the desire for blue eyes, the way they pierced me as a child not used to them, and this student had described them in the shortest phrase. This, too, is a gift.<\/li>\n<li>I worry the most when I wake up in the middle of the night, and, to avoid anxiety\u2014about the class I teach, what I said or didn\u2019t say to someone I wanted to impress, that I worry about impressing at all\u2014I think of poems and start writing in my head. My brain gets busy. This is the opposite of counting sheep or deep breaths. On one hand, the poem is a repository for anxious thoughts, and on the other, a diversion from them.<\/li>\n<li>My therapist asks if I\u2019ve ever wanted to speak up but felt I couldn\u2019t\u2014not that I chose not to for my own reasons. My answer is a hard yes. She says it\u2019s good that I have an outlet in writing. I haven\u2019t thought of poetry as an outlet for years and linger over the phrasing. Later, I realize it\u2019s because I\u2019ve associated outlets with the outpouring of emotion\u2014something that must be let out, that must leave the body in whatever way possible\u2014and therefore a contradiction to craft. The careful making of something, the work of a poet. But the more I think about it, the more I don\u2019t think outlet and craft have to conflict. The poem is, in one sense, how I retroactively speak up for the times I couldn\u2019t, like at the oral surgeon\u2019s office experiencing microaggressions. It\u2019s the Yelp review I\u2019d always planned to write.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>When the month is over, I\u2019m spent. I celebrate with boba from the newly-opened Kung Fu Tea a mile away. I haven\u2019t taken stock of the revision ahead of me yet, the inevitable cutting and throwing away\u2014that I can\u2019t just throw my poems up into the air and watch them fall into place, a manuscript. Right now, the sugar and treating myself are enough like endorphins.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center\">*<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lisa Low<\/strong>\u00a0was born and raised in Maryland.\u00a0Her poems have appeared in <em>Vinyl, The Journal, Entropy, The Collagist,<\/em> and elsewhere. A graduate of Indiana University\u2019s MFA program, she is a PhD candidate and Yates Fellow at the University of Cincinnati.<\/p>\n<p>*Low\u2019s poems appear in Issue 42.1 of\u00a0<em>Cream City Review<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Most days are unspectacular, but on the worst days, nothing is in my fingers. Or in my brain. I don\u2019t like anything I\u2019ve written, so I repeatedly type and backspace the way I tell my students not to do during in-class writing activities. I click through old poems nostalgically as if to harness the magic of a moment when something sprang forth out of nothing. I feel like I\u2019ll never write something good again. It\u2019s as if negative self-talk itself will produce the poem&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":37709,"featured_media":3183,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":"","uwm_wg_additional_authors":[]},"categories":[51],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3339","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blog","et-has-post-format-content","et_post_format-et-post-format-standard"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v27.3 (Yoast SEO v27.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-premium-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>&quot;Thoughts from a Writing Challenge&quot; by Lisa Low - since &#039;75<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/uwm.edu\/creamcityreview\/3339-2\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"&quot;Thoughts from a Writing Challenge&quot; by Lisa Low\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Most days are unspectacular, but on the worst days, nothing is in my fingers. 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